Happy Lebaran Day!!

Well, it's been a really long time for me to not posting here... though i'm not sure anybody really read my blog but "i really don't care as long as i can post"... i know, what a sick of me.

I have a lot of story to tell, there're so many things have happened around me. You know, life.

After a month of pasting finally come the Day called Lebaran Day in my language,

You know, i truly have some stressed conditions  this month. Start with my college's slimy tactics of ruining my time and my parents' pocket. Second, my auntie didn't really care about that.Third, my parents forgot about my birthday (even until now). Fourth, i am still single.What A Mess!

I did much complaining everyday until this second... (just see what i write above)

Finally, finally, the day of forgiveness for everybody has come...

The question is...

"Does every single person forgive me ?"

Actually I'm not really sure if i have already forgive "everyone" also...

Like the one who broke my heart, or the one who turned me into "a-single-life-everyday", or the swindler who ruined my life and i've been cursing. Especially, have i really forgive my self who could fallen for those misfortunes and still trap on its. Oh man, am really some genius stupid?

How about you, guys and girls, have you really forgive anyone including yourself?

Is Normal Life really exist?

Sometimes we live in sorrow, unpleasant matters called misfortune. But actually when i think more about it i never lack of fortunes knowing that there're more people poorer than me, more selfish and angry.

I sometimes wish that i can live like normal people while i don't even sure what normal is. I guess no one is normal because no one exactly the same. So when i want to be normal maybe it's inverse of normal. Normal is just flowing with the river named destiny.

Often i maybe we feel uneasy living, scared, angry, hatred, sorrow, but the more we got difficulties the more a small happiness make us feel wonderful. A small touch, a small hug, a small kiss. A little careness. I mostly ignore those things but i really grateful that i can still have them. Have a little family, Have a friend. Have my heart away from hartred. Although there's selfishness stand till. I really feel grateful i have my life no matter what people judge. I want to grateful my life with a little complaining to cacth more careness from people close to me. A little pampered while hiding tears.

I have one desire... I want to hold you very tight and be by your side forever.

I want to make some love blossom in my heart. Yet i'm not ready giving my all to that wish. I'm not really ready to rely on anyone. I can trust no one. Should i pitty my self? Mmm... i don't suppose to do that though. Yet i'm very grateful with my life, ain't i?

Just life with people who care about me makes me feel safe.

Just stay the way it is though i have a hundred tons of complainings. I just wish i could live in people careness. Giving and taking love. I want to learn that too.

In my normal life.

Hello My Prince

I think i have found my destiny...

This guy was so warm yet so mysterious. When i talk with him i feel like every problem was gone away. I love listening his singing. I love seeing his smile. I love imaging his gaze.

When he says he's in a blue i feel like a falling leave. I'm worry yet i can do nothing. So, i gave him a song though i know i have not well voice. I want him to keep shining. Just keep shining.

I was lost for a thousand years, i never knew i could feel this warmth again. My hope was high. I wanna feel love again.

I don't wanna be so selfish, i don't wanna be so greed, not anymore.

Even it's just a summer dream just stay the way you are. Just stay for a little longer.

For the first time after years i don't feel lost anymore

.

Even if it's my illusions just stay close. Just stay a little closer.

I wanna yell it out more but i don't want to break this moment.

The moment i have yearn for. The moment i thought will never come.

Just stay there so i can look at you.

Now you are my prince. I'll let you have my heart, till you're sure i can be the one.

And finally i can say "Welcome home my prince."