HARRRSHHHHH ......... there's so much i want to say! but as i used to be, i cant. why? (no one ask me) because when i start to talk in the middle of my emotion (angry, kurushii, wtf) i will immediately start crying. かっこ悪いんだよ。ちっくそ！！！ Well, that's why i always hide it inside. Right! because i dont want to show my tears to anybody else! Even i dont believe my parents. What a family!!!
Though i cant, of course, blame my family because it's the way life is. Destiny. Okay! アタシがわるいんだよ! I was too gloomy all the time, i even look scary in present. HAHA. (Oh God im going crazy)
You know it's not that easy to control my anger just like they told me! 本当ばかだな。I always ask my self "Why?", "How?", "What?" but there's nothing change. I just cant dismiss it. I cant cancel it. i just got to be more and more angry than seconds before. It's sucks. Oh i feel like i want to kill my self.
This not a story or a drama which people watch on TV. これは現実だよ！That's the thing i always regret it. Everything's going wrong here. Or it's just me who really stupid to realize that real world is just one level above boring. How lucky they are who thought this earth is fun.
At my new place, i dont really get a friend who has the same interested as me, or teacher who is really pay attention on me, or even a proper personal computer to use. WHAT A CAMPUS? Are they really purpose it? A CAMPUS? ばかばかしじゃない？！
あ そう、あたしね 皆が同じだけ、ただ嘘つきだ。母さんも、父さんも、皆同じだから！！！そんあことはきらいんだ！！！
皆があたしにお話をないんだ。聞いてないんだ。ちゃんと見てもないんだからさ！アタシとても寂しいだろう？何で誰も気づいたの？泣けて時も誰もいなくってなのに。アタシ嫌われての？何でだろう？友達はただ一人だけが十分。なのに、アタシ一人だけでもないんだから！！あいつらあ、忙しくてばかりで。アタシは邪魔なんですか？
この世界がきらいんだよ！！！
アタシただ。。。一人で怖いんだって。何でそんなことは誰も気づくなかった
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