諦めませんか

I had a really really bad day.


It just... The truth is what they need it's not me. When she said "don't go and leave me alone here." it truly means "don't go and leave me doing these study alone, you have the brain, and i have you."

Great! Just go shopping and playing and leave me alone with studying.

It hurts.

Human Relationship (?)

Memang lebih menyenangkan kalau kau berada di "tempatmu" sendiri. Bersama dengan ras, koloni, bangsa, ataupun spesies yang benar-benar mencirikan dirimu sepenuhnya. Itu yang aku sadari kemarin. Berada di tengah keramaian tanpa tahu siapa orang-orang yang mengelilingimu tidak lebih baik 100 kali dari pada berada dengan satu orang yang mengerti apa yang berada di kepalamu.

About blending in

昨日、友達の家を来ました私が。誕生日だった。

Then i realize that... I haven't changed.　ぜんぜん変わってないと気づいた。

I still can not blend in well with people even though they're my own friends.

Mostly i didn't know what were they talking about. But i know it was funny so i laughed with them. It's so silly i thought.

Am i that weird? Awkward? Possibly...

神様　どうしよ　。。。

私ね、大学をやめると思うんだけど。

It's not like something that laziness take over but  i'm just thinking that... it's not the right thing to do. 最初からね。From the beginning i never thought that university would be best for me to take. It doesn't go well so far. I never thought that "I do belong here!!" once before or even after. I wanted to stop. But i was falter, my parents wanted me to at least have my title. But i never thought it was what i want. I want to learn something new. I wanna make some awesome design, sophisticated software... some good arts.

ホントはね － 奥村初音

ホントはね

歌手：奥村初音
作詞：奥村初音
作曲：板垣祐介

 

「大丈夫」は便利な言葉

いつの間にか私は　嘘つきになった

。。。

Things I wanna do

I really do not want to go to that college anymore! Why can't anyone understand that?! I know i don't belong there! I can't stay longer. I know it won't works for me. I can hardly make friend, or show what i can do. And i never find what i've been looking for there. I feel like strangers in the class. When everybody really enjoy their life with playing and shopping... I can't. Nobody like to study. Nobody like to not cheat. Nobody like to appreciate what i've done for them. In force of course. So far nothing good happen to me. I don't know what i should do in that place. I never do. It's so frustrated me. It's extremely irritated me. And yet, nobody can understand that. They said "Every college would be the same." Oh really? Have them tried their selves? I bet no. So, did they say that just because don't want me to leave?

My far-away friend

おはよう皆！

Today i'd like to tell you about my-far-away-friend.
He's from another continent. He's so kind and nice. Always listen to my stories and encourage me a lot. How lucky i am having him to be my friend. There in his country he told me that he's studying and working a lot. He want to find a job abroad his country, like me. Okay it's not like i hate my country or anything... It's just i like travel a lot. I think there's so many people, so many languages, so many cultures out there. And so many places i wanna play. And more experiences to tell, for sure.

Well, i guess that's all. I don't know what to say. It's just how i appreciate his kindness...

He said to me to keep in touch with him. He always waits for the time my stories come. No one ever said that to me, so
 とてもうれしいは私は。ありがとう、マックシ。

今日の日記

私ね、どう言う人間かなってまだ迷う。何で私はこんな難しい人間になれるかな？自分をいつも分からないんだってそう思う。それより私ね、力があるかな？いつもいつでも日本で行きたい。いろいろのことが見たい。でも、私なんて。。。出来るかな？
頑張ろうって自分をいつも言った　だけど、私は簡単に迷った。誰でも分からないけど、いつか分かる人が現れた欲しい。だからこのままじゃ寂しいは私。でもね、諦めちゃダメ　分かるよ。寂しいなら私はずっとずっと頑張るよ。だって頑張るならもう悲しいじゃないは。さあって。。。一緒に頑張りましょうか？皆？
私達はきっといつか夢を叶えるよ。諦めないは。

How i change my blog template

おはよう　皆さん!　お元気ですか？

This time i'd like to tell some experience about my blog template. This kind of interesting for me. Good template makes me wanna post good posting. XD

It's quiet hard at the fist time. Well, because i didn't understand enough how it works yet. Now i know so it doesn't matter anymore. At least i understand how to put my template on and how to match it with my layout.

Vampire Academy

Hi... Whoever accidentally read this ... :)

I was just read these amazing books authored by Richelle Mead titled Vampire Academy.

It's so awesome. How Rose fight for ones who she is loved the most. For her best friend Lissa. And for the one she is involved with... Belikov...