Then i realize that... I haven't changed. ぜんぜん変わってないと気づいた。
I still can not blend in well with people even though they're my own friends.
Mostly i didn't know what were they talking about. But i know it was funny so i laughed with them. It's so silly i thought.
Am i that weird? Awkward? Possibly...
神様 どうしよ 。。。
I always thought that maybe if they talked about the topic that i knew, may be i wouldn't be so awkward or look so strange in front of them. It's so irritating when people feel so pity of me. But it's more frustrating when i don't know how to make them not so worry about me being alone in their conversation.
It's not that i don't want to talk. I just don't know what to say, okay? Not everyone understand what i feel at that time. And by that fact, i often lose my confidence. And i can hardly counting on my self. Am i that bad to do communicating ?
But out of those worries, i found my friends are doing something big little by little. I'm so proud, but so envy them. When could i do something big in my life?
When i envy something i could really be in a completely bad mood. Anger would take me over. I can hardly hide my feeling. And it makes me look like stupid T.T
Oh Where Could I Find A Friend Who Has The Same Interest As Mine ...
I EXTREMELY Need Some Chemistry Here
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