My days

お、お久しぶり！

 

 It's been a long long time since i posted... soo many things had happened!!!

I thought that my days were so boring... but, i'm not sure anymore.

Well, maybe sometimes its were

But i couldn't help it right?

Life always has a funny way to live

Sometimes... ironic

Okay, let's start with story about my friend named J.P

Yeah, i decided to leave our relationship lately. I should do this since he seemed not very pleasant with my existence. I don't know why he always angry at me in every single topic we discuss. I know we always have different thought. Rarely we had the same one. It's like a miracle if we did. I realize sometimes i talked too much. Too improper. Careless. Messy. But he didn't have to so upset with me, right? I never meant it. At times i even didn't know what i was talking about. He often  thought that was an indignity. To be honest i never really did understand what he's talking about. But i pretended if i knew. Because he was complaining that i should understand. But what did he said the last time we met on chat... "i'm tired with your smart act, it's a bullshit, and i still talk to you because i honor our friendship."

ふざけんだよ！何よそれ？ひどいだは。

So i said that he shouldn't push him self because his honor. I hate that honor. He said that it was nice to meet me. But i know he lie. If he really feel like that, maybe it was years before we started to fight. When we talked about farm, and batman cave. After that he always angry at me. But i still like him because i thought that we were close as a friend and i hate to lose a friend since i have no many friends. So, sometimes i still talked to him. I endured fighting as possible as i could. But it's no use now. He think i'm a bullshit. Great.

Okay. Fine. Maybe it's the time to say goodbye.

さようならジャコブさん。

Then it's about my other friend.

I know she is in some pressure now. I've never seen she's crying before. Except when her mother's burial. Her mother was a wonderful one. She's so kind. She knew about my family somehow. I can't explain. Yeah, but she's so nice. And her only daughter was so loved her. She missed her mother so much. I know what it feels when i lost something so precious in life. I couldn't help to be in mourning for couple of years. For the time being i could never forget his existence when he was still with me. No one could understand that so no one could help me from my sorrow. I blamed my destiny. I cursed my feeling. I angry at everything.

But now, it's been 3 years and 5 months since that broken heart day. I can clearly think about my destiny and my feeling. I even can controlled my anger now. 良かったよね。

So, i wanna help her through this sadness... but in the other side i know she should face this with her own strength to overcome his sadness. It's some process of living. But i'll never leave her side as possible as i could. And i also know that she has many nice friends around her. Should be grateful for that. I have no friend who would celebrate my birthday. But i have a family who did that. A huge family.

Oh... and... actually yesterday when i went with her to buy some food i came across a friend. He is the one who spend more time with me and who call on me at my house. He's so interesting. But somehow i got stuck when i tried to talked with him. To make joking. I felt so stupid. His girlfriend is one of a friend who i hug the most. I don't know why. But it's so comfort when i hug her. I took her as one of my girl. lol