私ね、大学をやめると思うんだけど。

It's not like something that laziness take over but  i'm just thinking that... it's not the right thing to do. 最初からね。From the beginning i never thought that university would be best for me to take. It doesn't go well so far. I never thought that "I do belong here!!" once before or even after. I wanted to stop. But i was falter, my parents wanted me to at least have my title. But i never thought it was what i want. I want to learn something new. I wanna make some awesome design, sophisticated software... some good arts.

But there, i can never do what i wanna do. What i need to do. It's ashamed that i even don't know what i can do there besides complaining and let the cheaters do the best. I don't want that, i don't like that. I wanna lay fair. Maybe people would think "oh, don't so full of your self.". Well, maybe i really want to show off. I want people know what i can do. I want people to appreciate what i have done. I want people motivating me to do better. So, what's wrong with "doing my stuff and showing off" ?

And yeah, my family always have some economic trouble. I never really mind about it. I earn money with my own way. But it's getting hard these days so i need to find some other way. I wanna help my mother. I know she need my help and i don't think i will wait until i graduate.

So, this is my plan.

Get a job - earn money - help my family - doing some tests - pass - get my scholarship in japan - study - create something - people will appreciate me and need me - my family will proud of me - and others awesome things to do

I don't care if people can not have faith in me, as long as i have faith for my self, I can overcome whatever the matter that will possibly call on me. And my faith on Allah. My only God. I always remember this sentence "If there's a will, then there'll be a way."

Never give up and never lose trust on my self. Allah is as far as my pray, never leave me as long as i never go from His side. Whatever obstacle would come, it'll never come out beyond my capability to solve.

I can do that. I can do anything i wanna do. And i will do everything i need to do.