My Job : 5th day

Today i had an appointment to see a friend in CFD.

I considered to check out the cafe since they mentioned me to come and share the brochures... But what i did was different at all. I thought if it was just sharing the brochures i could pretend to go up and then run away. But drying up the dishes? Oh nooo

What was bother me is they looked like not really care about my time. They talked and laughed about their picnic stuff while i was drying up the dishes in a hurry. Sucks.

And they gave me they key so that we could leave the cafe together... Great. It meant that i should wait them finish their playing. 

I meant that friend in a half way... when i run up she run down. Okay... we went down together.

We walked a lot that was tiring. And i was really hungry.

We met another friend there.

After finished eating i decided to go to a Blues, a place for me to read and lend some books.

I read a novel while I was waiting another friend to come.

Good novel. My favorite author, Mag. Cabot write it.

After i got home... my mom asked about my job. When i told her i got some shocking answer...She doesn't like my job. She doesn't like i home late.

I know she didn't mean anything bad... but the way she talked to me... it feels like she blamed me.

She always makes me so guilty about what i do. She makes me the one who's wrong.

Though i know i was wrong to home late but i did it because my dad never did that.

I'm tired to see she's crying... and complaining... and regretting ...

When my dad doesn't look like he care about that.

What a family, right?

I just want to help her.. to help my self..

I don't know what to do anymore... It feels like i really want to disappear...

I don't care about losing job anymore...  i don't care about money... i don't care about love...

All i want is just to leave... disappear into the air... as i'm so desperate this much, i feel like dying.